Seven Year Blogiversary

Seven years ago today, I started blogging.

I stopped blogging about motherhood for a while. I came back. I started my design & lifestyle blog Urban Bliss Life, blogged about mom entrepreneurship on my (recently closed) Power M.O.B. blog, and now… here we are again. Back to blogging about all of it.

When I read my first Maternity to Madness blog post from September 20, 2004, my heart aches a little. I remember, and yet I honestly can no longer relate – at least, not in the same way I used to. The nursing, the pumping, the colic, the spitup — those are marks of motherhood I no longer wear. My own words bring about pangs of nostalgia but also sighs of relief; my kids are now 4.5 and 7.5 years old. I love these ages, not just where they are at in their progression as human beings but where I am at in my progression. I love where I am now as a mother, as a business owner, as a woman

It’s taken a bit of getting used to, being a mom of older kids, but I like it. A lot.

Yet with every stage, comes new questions, new territory to explore, new challenges to deal with. I need this blog back because I need to work through them not just by myself, and not just with my husband, but with others who are going through it, or those who have been there, done that, and those who will be here eventually. I am not so stubborn as to think that I can do this mothering thing all on my own; I need all of you, too. Whether you read and respond or not, the connection is a necessary one for me.

{above: Maternity to Madness Blog header from 2008}

This particular blog is for me, and in some part, for my kids. I want them to know how much I loved the honor and gift of being their mother, but also how much is involved with that love: the sleeplessness, the guilt, the questioning, the frustration, the mistakes, the celebrations. All of it is enveloped in a love so deep, so powerful, that if I were to write out my love for them every second of every day it still would not be enough. So here, in spurts, is a little piece of that love.

So… hello, Maternity to Madness blog, my old friend. We’ve been together seven years and I have a feeling we will be together for quite a few more.

motherhood

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Ten Years

Ten years.

A lot has happened in the 10 years from the day the world around me stood still. And yet, much has stayed the same.

I will not watch the anniversary tributes, read the full-color, multi-page coverage of the day, nor engage in public remembrance activities. None will heal my soul nor help my heart; none will change the past nor shape the future. I am simply going to remember, pay my private respects, and continue to love and live in the moment as the events of that day served as a harsh reminder to do each day.

There is no event that can break me, nor you, nor a country. We are ten years strong, and moving on. Not because we are heartless, but because we are human, we are survivors, and we honor those who lost their lives by living ours as best we can.

Still Waiting (original post from 9/11/09)

There are days when everything seems just as it should be, but at the same time, you know nothing is as it seems. Today is one of those days. Same time, same date, different year. And each year, I am overwhelmed with emotion, overcome with tears on its eve, and then again as it passes into a new day.

And it does, miraculously, always pass into a new day.

Eight years ago today, I had just gotten out of the shower, when my husband said in a calm voice “Honey, come in here.” His voice never scares me, but in those seconds it did, because I didn’t recognize it. Moving into the bedroom I saw him watching the tv. On the tv was an image of the Twin Towers. There was smoke. Not a second later, we watched the second plane hit. My heart stopped. I counted the seconds.

For the next several minutes the world stopped and time stood still.

Then I went to work. Crisis communications being part of my job.

I made phone calls. Some of them went through. Most hit a busy signal. I waited to hear from family members, friends, co-workers, students, colleagues, media contacts. I arranged for more televisions to come in. Whether with friends or strangers, that day we all watched and cried and hugged and wondered. Together.

More than anything, I waited and waited and waited to hear those busy signals turn to voices saying they were ok.

In the days that followed, as phone service was restored, most were.

But not all.

Too many lives lost in an instant. I cannot write about what it is like to lose a parent, spouse, or child in 9/11. I cannot fathom that deep a loss and am still constantly in awe of the strength of those who endured such a loss that day. I was not there to experience the chaos or witness what New Yorkers went through first-hand, nor able to assist as bravely and immediately as our firefighters, paramedics, police and other disaster relief workers.

I was not there, and yet, I was. We all were. In many ways, we still are.

On the anniversary of 9/11, it is difficult for me to conduct life as normal. Every other day of the year, fine. But this day, every year, I am struck with so much emotion that I am almost frozen. I remember.

I feel like I am still waiting for my phone to ring. I am still waiting to hear those voices who never had a chance to call back.

motherhood

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The long goodbye

Today we said goodbye to our beloved dog, Thor.

My heart hurts.

He was pure joy and unconditional love and blessed our lives for the past 12 of his 14 years.

He was my road trip partner and kept me company traveling around four states over two years.

He made me feel safe and comforted in a dark house the years my husband worked the overnight shift as a morning TV show producer.

When we had kids, he graciously gave up his space in the spotlight and was the gentlest, sweetest, most cuddly furry big brother to our children.

He’s been a part of our lives for so long. It’s really, really hard to imagine our family without him.

I miss him. As the kids run around the house playing, as we plan dinner and tomorrow’s contributions to a BBQ, I feel the activity and go through the motions but my heart is hugging him, laying still, sleeping…but not.

Even though we’ve endured a long, sad goodbye for several months now, it is a loss that still surprises and stings. The empty feeling of the house, this life, without my buddy.

There may be other dogs in our future, but there will never be another dog like Thor.

Rest in peace, sweet pup. Thanks for being such an incredible friend & companion. We love you always. You will be in our hearts & minds forever.

motherhood

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{balance} A Swing & A Smile

Ever have one of those weeks where life swings up and down so fast that just as you get comfortable enjoying the gorgeous views from rising high, gravity pulls you back down to a new low?

I had one of those weeks. Not bad, just full of constant ups and downs.

But that’s life, right? Part of the beauty is the challenge of pumping your legs hard enough to swing back up even higher.

At the park yesterday, I sat on a swing next to my kids. After they hopped off to climb the rock wall & swing from the monkey bars, I stayed on.

It was a sunny Northwest afternoon, with puffy Simpsons clouds and sparrows chirping about. I kid you not.

I pumped my legs back and forth with my eyes on the sky (and my secret set of Mom Eyes On the Side of My Head on the kids).

And with each time I touched that beautiful sky with my toes, I let go. My smile widened. My breath slowed. Emotional weight fell to the ground.

I was free. It felt fabulous.

Sometimes, we just need to remove ourselves from the world. Get a different perspective. Let the Mom, Wife, Boss, Employee, Friend, Caregiver in you sit on the sidelines for a bit and let You swing into the sky.

You know how your kids smile when they’re swinging? Try it sometime. You deserve that smile too.

motherhood

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{printables} Teacher Appreciation Week Flash Cards

As much as I follow the strategize-like-crazy-then-be-prepared-to-go-with-the-flow philosophy for my businesses, when it comes to my actual life, I’m about 99% fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kinda gal. Usually it works in my favor (ex: “hey who’s up for happy hour in 10 minutes?”). Sometimes, it causes a bit of a scramble.

Take Teacher Appreciation Week. Oh, it’s THIS week! As in, it started yesterday.

Riiiiight.

Oops. I got nada.

What I do have in abundance is high quality paper, a couple of awesome printers, a brain that tends to be more creative when I don’t have time to over-think & second guess my ideas, and access to lots of fun software. So this afternoon before dinner, I made these teacher flash cards while my kids drew pictures for their teachers.

The kids helped choose the adjectives to describe teachers. I admittedly helped steer them in the direction of words like “creative” over my daughter’s choice word for the letter “c”: “carrot.” I think her brain is still in Easter mode…

Since I’m all about sharing, I made printable PDFs of the flash cards that you can print out at home. Click the link at the bottom of the post to download the PDF. **UPDATE: Due to demand and my super busy work schedule, these are no longer available for free download. They will soon be available in my Urban Bliss Design online shop!”**

I’ve also included one teacher note that you can write in your child’s teacher’s name and there’s also space for your child to sign. The note is shown here with a picture my son drew for his teacher (their names are blurred out):

We’re giving these out tomorrow with a jar of my super chocolatey moist brownies. The recipe for the brownies will be posted on Friday!

See what you can do in half an hour? You don’t even need half an hour though: in just minutes, you can download the flash cards that I designed. Print them onto nice thick cardstock, cut them out leaving a slight white border around the edges of each card to give them that classic flash card look, use a rounded corner hole punch for each as I did if you’d like, and then stack them in order with a bow and give to your child’s teacher.

We all know our teachers deserve so much. I always wish I could do so much more to honor them and thank them for helping us raise our children with solid education and great care. Thank you teachers everywhere. You all make such a difference every day.

**UPDATE: SO glad that so many folks have liked these cards! Unfortunately, due to demand and my super busy work schedule, these are no longer available for free download. They will soon be available in my Urban Bliss Design online shop!**

This printable is for personal use only. Any commercial use, altering of the design, or sharing of the file is strictly prohibited.

motherhood

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